How do you know Darryl Strawberry's wife is a righty? He can't hit lefties.

What cost Dwight Gooden $5,000, but had one calorie? Diet coke.

What division is Len Bias playing on now? Six foot and under.

What do flowers and Len Bias have in common? They both die two days after they've been picked.

What do the New York Knicks and an ugly pimple-faced kid have in common? It's almost impossible for either to score.

What's big, black, fat, and frozen? Refrigerated Perry.

Why did Dwight Gooden give up so many walks last year? He liked freebasing.

Why did the battered wife decide to live with the New York Knicks? They don't beat anybody.

Why did the Mets trade Dwight Gooden to the Chicago Bears? Because they wanted a coke machine next to the Refrigerator.

Why was the Polish athlete thrown off the Olympic team? They found traces of Pepsi in his urine.